Highland Wolf Page 15

  Mungo butted his head against her hand in a silent demand and she started to scratch his ears. “I think I shall hide this one and begin a search for the other. There has to be another. From all I have just read, Mary was a woman who truly enjoyed writing down all her woes, real or imagined. She filled every tiny scrap of space on these pages.”

  And a lot of it was nothing more than the whining of a spoiled child who did not get all she wanted, Annora thought crossly. Most women were married to men chosen by their families. Mary had at least been given a husband who was young, and handsome. Even more remarkable, she had had a husband who had believed in his vows and honored them, remaining faithful to her despite her often-expressed disgust over his lovemaking. Someone should have shaken some common sense into the woman, Annora decided. Instead, Mary had thought Donnell was her true love, the best of all men. The woman’s error in judgment had gotten her killed. Annora had absolutely no doubt about that.

  Gently moving her softly snoring cat onto her bed, Annora decided to begin her search for the other journal. She was certain there was another one and she was equally as certain that it was hidden in some place Mary often went. Annora did want to think much about just why Mary might have gone into the woods a lot, often enough so that she would have found that rather clever hiding place. If the woman also went to the cottage a lot, there could be something hidden there, too. The fact that the cottage had burned to the ground did not necessarily mean a hidden journal had met the same fate.

  She sighed as she left her bedchamber, pleased to see that her guards were gone, but worried about how long it might take to find the other journal and how often she would be free to look for it. For a moment her certainty faltered, but she quickly shook her head. Every instinct she had told her that there was another journal and that it held the sort of truths that could be used to free James. She had learned long ago to trust her instincts.

  Suddenly Annora knew just who to ask about Mary’s favorite places, and she hurried down the stairs intending to get to the kitchen. She nearly cursed aloud when she turned a corner at the bottom of the steps and came face-to-face with Egan. As quickly as she could, she moved so that there was no wall close at hand. Annora did not want to be pinned against a wall or any other hard surface by Egan ever again. Where she now stood was also very public, the chance of someone coming by very high, and she hoped that would be enough to make Egan hesitate in trying to force himself on her.

  “Where are your guards?” Egan demanded.

  “I am only going to the kitchens,” she said calmly. “Why would I need guards there?” Annora suddenly feared that her guards would suffer dearly for allowing her to roam free, and that would make them far more vigilant just when she needed them to be increasingly lax.

  She watched Egan’s eyes narrow as he struggled to give her an answer that would not reveal the true reason for having her constantly watched. Annora knew it was to keep her from hearing anything that might make her question Donnell’s right to be laird of Dunncraig. Men with secrets always found it necessary to watch all those around them for some sign that their secrets were slipping free of their cage. She also knew that it was not something Donnell or Egan wished her to know. Although she was deeply insulted that they would think her too witless to guess why she was guarded so carefully, she also had to be glad of it. The less those two men thought she knew, the less danger she would be in.

  “Ye need to be protected from the other men,” Egan said. “There may be some who dinnae ken that ye are mine.”

  “I am nay yours,” she snapped.

  “Aye, ye are. E’en Donnell says—”

  “Egan, if I might speak to ye for a moment?” Donnell said in a cold, hard voice as he walked up to them. He looked at Annora in a way that made her inwardly shiver, as if he was blaming her for Egan’s too-free tongue. “Dinnae ye have something ye need to do?” he asked her in a voice so cold she nearly shivered.

  Annora nodded and nearly ran to the kitchen. From what James had said, Egan was not supposed to tell her that she was now promised to Egan and it sounded like Donnell felt Egan had been about to disobey him. She doubted Egan would suffer too much for disobedience, for he and Donnell had been together ever since they were boys and knew far too many of each other’s secrets. However, the next few minutes would be very unpleasant for Egan. Annora knew she would have to be satisfied with that.

  It took several moments after reaching the kitchens to find Big Marta. It took even longer to convince the woman to move to some place where they could talk privately. Big Marta’s curiosity finally got the best of her, however, and she led Annora to a tiny room at the rear of the kitchens where the more expensive food stores were kept, things such as spices and good wine.

  “Now, what do ye wish to speak about?” asked Big Marta as she lit some candles and then shut the door to the room. “I was about to seek my bed, ye ken.” She nodded toward the back of the room.

  Annora’s eyes widened when she saw the small bed. “Ye sleep in here?”

  Big Marta shrugged her narrow shoulders. “Easier than walking back to town, trying to sleep in my son’s verra crowded home, and then walking all the way back here ere the sun has e’en risen. Smells better here, too. So, what did ye need to tell me that no one else could be hearing?”

  “Actually, I need to ask ye a few questions about Mary,” Annora said.

  “Why?”

  “Because I think she was a verra big part of the plots and schemes which put my cousin’s arse in the laird’s chair here.”

  “Oh? And just why would ye be thinking that?”

  Annora could sense that the woman was fighting hard to keep something secret, to be cautious before she spoke. Big Marta knew something about Mary that she did not believe she ought to tell anyone, except perhaps James. Information would have to be shared with the woman before she would feel that she could trust Annora enough to tell her what she knew.

  “Meggie found a wee book hidden in the hollow of an old tree,” Annora finally said.

  “What kind of book?”

  “One of those little ones ladies like to write in, to hide their secrets in, and to talk about their lives and all of its trials and joys.”

  “A waste of expensive parchment, I am thinking,” grumbled Big Marta. “If the fool woman has secrets, it seems to me that the surest way to make verra certain everyone and his brother kens what the secrets are is to write them down in a wee book. Did ye read it, then?”

  “Aye, I did, and the book belonged to Mary.” She nodded when Big Marta’s eyes widened more with anticipation than surprise. “Mary and Donnell were lovers. ’Tis made painfully clear in the journal.”

  “Aye, they were lovers, and probably ere she married the laird.”

  “A long time before.”

  Big Marta shook her head and cursed softly. “Foolish, foolish woman. Aye, and a completely witless fool to write down all of her sins.”

  “On that we are agreed. How did ye ken that Donnell and Mary were lovers?”

  “One of the maids saw Mary enter Donnell’s bedchamber and heard enough to ken that the woman wasnae there to ask what he wanted for a meal.”

  “Oh dear. Do ye think she would tell anyone else what she saw?” Annora asked, wondering if she and James could get the woman to James’ brother and the king’s man.

  “Nay. I fair had to pull it out of her word-by-word and only after I had sworn meself to silence about it all. Weel, all but the truth about what she saw and heard.”

  “So, were ye but wishing me to confirm what ye have read in that wee book?” asked Marta.

  “Nay, I need ye to tell me if Mary had any places she favored, places she would go to be private.”

  “Ye mean like the laird’s own bedchamber?” Big Marta drawled.

  “Weel, aye, although I pray what I seek hasnae been hidden in there, as it will be nigh on impossible to get in there without being seen. Donnell keeps his bedchamber verra weel guarded.”

&
nbsp; “Such is the way with a mon who holds a lot of secrets, especially the sort that can get him hanged.”

  “Aye, true enough. Donnell has a great many secrets, I think.”

  “Why do ye wish to ken if Lady Mary had some wee secret places so that she could commit adultery without being caught?”

  “Because I think she may have hidden a second journal. The one Meggie found only goes to a few months before she was killed.”

  Big Marta tensed and studied Annora closely before she said, “Aye, there were a few places where Lady Mary went. Now that I ken a wee bit more about her, I suspicion they were places where she could meet her lover without fear of being caught.”

  When Big Marta said nothing more, just stood there scowling down at her feet, Annora gently asked, “Are there none ye can think of?”

  “Och, aye, there are some. I was just trying to think of the ones that might offer her the chance to bury something or just hide it. Down by the burn. Lady Mary often slipped away to go there. Ye cannae be seen down there because of all the wondrous big trees. I saw her slip away to go there many a time, and now that I think on it, it was mostly when that bastard was visiting. She could also have crept to the place from where’er she was hiding after the fire and no one would have seen her.”

  Annora thought about that for a while, trying to picture the various places along the burn where someone could hide, or at least be out of sight of anyone at Dunncraig. There were several that she could think of although she rarely went near the water. She was somewhat afraid of burns and lochs and had been ever since her mother had drowned herself in a burn. Yet, to find some proof that would help James regain his land, she would go and search that burn for miles along either bank if she had to.

  “Then I shall go and find Mary’s secret place as soon as I can,” she murmured.

  “Do ye really think the fool wrote another journal?”

  “I do, because Mary verra clearly liked to write in the wee book. Since she was alive for months after the other one ended, I cannae believe she stopped writing. If it is hidden somewhere near the burn, I will find it. It might weel hold all that is needed to make Donnell pay for his crimes and set James back in the laird’s chair where he belongs.”

  “Ye dinnae intend to give him the other one, do ye?”

  Big Marta could be annoyingly perceptive, Annora mused and then sighed. “Nay. There isnae anything in there which will save him, but there is a lot of things in there that will hurt him. Mary may have appeared sweet and shy to many people, but those writings reveal a verra strong dose of cruelty hid beneath that sweetness. I assume ye told James about what that maid said?”

  Big Marta nodded. “Aye, I did although I didnae want to, for he was a good husband to the lass, better than she deserved e’en if she hadnae been betraying him with MacKay.”

  “On that we are agreed. He already kens that she broke her vows with Donnell and feels as certain as I do, that his wife helped dangle a rope around his neck by letting everyone think he killed her. I dinnae think he needs to ken that she thought him less than a mon and a verra poor lover as weel.”

  “Nay, the lad doesnae deserve that. But are ye absolutely sure that nothing in that wee book can help him?”

  “As sure as I can be. If naught else can be found, then I will give it to him so that he might try to use it to get the decree of outlawry set aside.”

  “Fair enough. If ye need any help slipping away to look round the burn, just ask me. I will help as I can.”

  Thank ye. Now I had best try to slip away to my bedchamber ere Egan comes sniffing round again.”

  The moment Big Marta let her out of the tiny room, Annora fled to the safety of her own bedchamber, watching closely for any sight of Egan every step of the way. Even as she reached for the latch on her door, she changed her mind. Egan might well try to come to her room and, securely latched or not, she was not sure her door was enough to keep him out if he was determined. He was, after all, going to be angry to have been reprimanded by Donnell, and it would be just like Egan to blame her for that. Taking a very careful look around, she hurried toward James’ bedchamber. Annora knew that it was an easy choice to make and not only because she would feel safe from Egan if she was with James. She may have been his lover for only a short time, but she already missed him when he was not in her bed.

  She had barely finished one quick rap on James’ door before it was opened and James yanked her into the room. Annora waited as he closed the door and barred it before he turned to her. For a moment, she had feared she had stepped far beyond her bounds, but his wide smile told her that was a foolish concern. James’ ear-to-ear grin told her that she was welcome. Annora suspected the hint of unease she could feel in him was because she had risked a lot to come to his room.

  “This wasnae verra wise, but I am too pleased to see ye to complain too much,” he said.

  “I was a wee bit afraid I had o’erstepped,” she began, still uncertain of her welcome.

  “Och, nay, love, ne’er that. If the threat of discovery didnae lurk round every corner, there wouldnae e’en be the hint of secrecy about what we share.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. “I would be strutting about like the fittest cock in the hen yard and letting every mon within leagues ken that ye are mine.”

  “And letting every woman ken that ye are mine?” she could not resist asking.

  “Nay a woman from here to London, cursed city that it is, would e’er doubt it.” He leaned back a little and looked at her. “But I get the feeling that there was more than my charming and verra handsome self that brought ye here this night.”

  “I needed to feel safe,” she whispered.

  James felt his anger stir for a moment even as her words touched him deeply. His anger was born of the fact that she had felt afraid and he suspected Egan had been hard at her heels. He ached to kill the man, or at least beat him into the ground, but that justice had to wait, for there was too much at risk to give into the need. That she would think to come to him to feel safe, despite the fact that he was as tightly bound as she by the need to play the waiting game when it came to Egan and Donnell, touched him in ways he would be hard put to explain.

  “Then stay, love, and let us both pretend for just a wee while that all is right and weel in our world.”

  “It soon will be, James,” she said as he tugged her closer to his bed even as he began to unlace her gown.

  “From your beautiful lips to God’s ear.”

  Annora gave herself over to his lovemaking. Her love made her want him so badly she ached, but she too knew that the need to feel happy, safe, and content also drew her into his arms. James made her feel wanted and welcome. It was a feeling she had enjoyed far too few times in her life. As he finished undressing her, then looked her all over as he shed his clothes, she realized that James made her feel as if she had truly found a home.

  Pain tore through her heart and she hastily banished it. She did not fool herself into thinking that was true. When he became the laird of Dunncraig again, she would have to leave. Annora would not stand in his way of making a complete life here for himself and Meggie, and that would eventually require a wife, a proper wife and not a poor, landless bastard. But, for now, she could afford the luxury of pretending she was home and simply enjoy the feeling.

  As passion swept over her body, stirred into fierce life by James’ touch, the feel of his big, warm body, and his heated kisses, Annora had to wonder how any woman could have been as stupid as Mary. Or as blind. Or so cold and confused that she could not see what a wondrous lover James was, what a fortunate woman she had been to be given such a kind, generous, and honorable man as a husband. The idiocy Mary had shown in her choice of lovers and the heartless cruelty she had revealed in how she had treated her husband and child, acting without a care for their safety and happiness if nothing else, would never make sense to Annora.

  For as long as she could Annora knew she would hide the little book filled from cover to
cover with far too many unkind words about the man she now held in her arms, hoping that she might even be able to destroy it because it was not needed to prove James’ innocence. On the day she had to leave James so that he could begin his new life at Dunncraig, Annora wanted to be able to toss that small book of poisonous words into a fire and watch it burn to ashes. Mary had hurt James enough. Although she felt a little sad for her ill-fated cousin, she knew Mary had brought her sad end upon herself and forgave the woman all of her sins save for two. Annora did not think she could forgive Mary for being such a poor mother to Meggie and she would never forgive the woman for trying to destroy James.

  Chapter Thirteen

  It was not easy to lose her guards, for they had indeed become far more diligent in watching her, but Annora finally managed it Two long days had passed before she had been able to find the time and a safe way to get to the burn, and she intended to search every possible hiding place along the banks. There was no way to guess when she might get another chance, and the very last thing she needed was two hulking men watching her search. Her guards would have reported such actions to Donnell the moment they returned to Dunncraig. Annora shivered just thinking about the trouble that could have brought down on her shoulders.

  With yet another glance around to make certain that no one was watching her, she clutched the front of the old hooded cloak Big Marta had loaned her and hurried toward the burn. When she finally reached it, she stared at the water. It ran noisily over the rocky riverbed and it looked cold, but it was not deep enough to be any real threat Annora felt she would be able to do what she had to do without becoming so afraid that she became too upset and frightened to do it. She even wondered if such a fear could eventually be grown out of, but shook aside that puzzle, for it was not the time to worry and wonder over all her little fears and sad childhood memories.